Where the Healing Actually Happens
The Part We Often Miss
Whether it’s in medicine or the spiritual community, we often speak about the importance and power of each session, the breakthrough from it, or the transformation that happens at the end.
But what about what happens in between?
And more importantly—how are we actually seeing the person who is right in front of us, not just in the session or the outcomes they experience, but within all those other moments in between?
This became so much more apparent to me after guiding a friend who had a session that unexpectedly activated him so intensely, so much so that after the session, he continued to have strong energetic shifts in his body with a strong emotional release two days later.
He received no follow-up, no check-in to see how he was doing from the practitioner other than the suggestion to drink water and rest. This concerned me, but at the same time, it didn’t surprise me.
The Overlooked Importance of Integration
This isn’t the first time I’ve helped someone move through their healing experience.
During my years as a nurse, I often supported friends, family, and coworkers with follow-up care, helping them understand what they needed when medical instructions were unclear or incomplete. And now, I find myself doing the same in the spiritual arena.
What amazes me is how similar these experiences are. While the spiritual community may pride itself on presence and healing, follow-through is often overlooked. And yet, integration isn’t just as important as the session itself—it’s even more important because it’s in the hours and days after a session that a client becomes most vulnerable, raw, and open.
Yet there seems to be a greater focus on creating powerful activations, certifications, retreats, and new programs to attract more clients—rather than staying present through the actual unfolding of transformation.
We all need to do better.
This isn’t just about one practitioner. It reflects a broader pattern I’ve witnessed for years—across both the spiritual and medical fields. And one memory, from over two decades ago, still lives in me as a reminder of what’s missing.
A Memory That Never Left Me
A woman—part of the family I was connected to at the time—was in the ICU on a ventilator. The family had to make a difficult and painful decision: whether to continue life support or not.
The hardest part was that she was awake—communicating through a board and answering yes-or-no questions. But because she spoke another language and had mild dementia, the doctors communicated only to the family—never directly to her about stopping the ventilator.
When the family gathered to decide, I stayed quiet for most of the conversation. They were struggling to figure out what she would have wanted.
To me, the answer was obvious: Ask her.
That moment has stayed with me—not just because of what happened, but because it’s an example of what I continue to see—not only in the medical field, but also in the spiritual community.
The doctor did his job: he explained the clinical situation and laid out the options. But in doing so, he overlooked his patient—someone who was awake, aware, and still able to communicate even on a ventilator.
Instead of bringing in a translator so he could speak directly to her, he turned to the family instead—because that’s what he learned to do to show he was doing his job.
When Knowing Replaces Seeing
Something similar happens in the spiritual community. We work with the client, we see them right in front of us—but we don’t truly see them. Because instead, we go back into our minds, trying to figure out what to say next based on what we know.
Often, whether we realize it or not, we’re more focused on showing that we’re good at what we do.
In both cases, the patient and the client are never truly seen, but more importantly, they’re not met where they are at that point in their life.
Are We Truly Seeing Them?
We may say things like “I see you,” but those words have, in many cases, become just that—words. Like many other words, we speak to show what we’ve learned and know—or to show our strong connection to our guides, spirits, angels, and so forth.
But do we actually integrate our knowledge and those connections in a way that allows us to truly see the person in front of us—and guide them from where they are in their life?
Is what we know truly embodied, or has it become just an intellectual exercise?
Because it’s easier to refer to the past or speak about the future than it is to face what’s right in front of you—especially when the focus becomes being seen as competent, intuitive, or wise.
Where the Healing Actually Begins
What we do—whether as healers, coaches, mentors, practitioners, or facilitators—is more than what happens in the session itself. It’s not just about what we hear, see, or share from our knowledge, inner knowing or energy.
What matters is if we really see the person right in front of us. Not just the versions we intuitively sense or envision, but the person they are right now, in that moment—and in the moments that follow.
Yes, our insights, intuition, and activations are part of the experience we offer. But what matters most is what comes after: the aftercare. The healing process. The integration.
And this isn’t what most people focus on as important. It’s often treated as an afterthought—or even seen as an inconvenience—when the client begins trying to understand what’s happening to them.
They are experiencing new awareness and trying to figure out how to live from that new place. They’re navigating new choices and feeling unsure about what to do next.
And yet, they’re often given phrases like:
“Sit with it.”
“See what comes up.”
“Trust the process.”
“Drink water.”
“Get rest.”
“Give it space and time to integrate.”
Instead of being guided through the change that’s unfolding.
When we don’t guide them through it, they may fall back into old patterns—or create new ones that lead them away from what was intended.
To guide them closely, to truly support them on their path, healing and progress, we must be in close connection with ourselves.
Not just with what we know. Not with what we sense outside of us. Not even with the intuition we’re used to relying on.
But with our deeper soul connection—so that we know what to say to our client in those integration moments in a way that guides their inner reflections into actions that are ready to take shape.
Because what matters most is not what we know or perceive—but how deeply we are connected to our soul when it’s time to guide someone through their unfolding.
And trust what we say.
